Well it is finally starting to hit me that my husband will be leaving on another deployment in a very short time. I can be completely fine and not even thinking about him leaving or being gone for 7 long months and all of the sudden, it's like driving into a brick wall, it all hits me. I have done so good not to cry in front of him or to hold back my tears so he doesn't see me cry. Yesterday we bought Amelia and the baby 2 recordable books that Roland is going to record himself reading for them, I think that really made me realize this is actually happening and very soon. I want to be strong for him and for our daughter and baby on the way. I see him playing with Amelia and how happy they both are and I can't help but think of all the things he is going to miss seeing her do. She is going to be a completely different little person when he gets home and it breaks my heart that he won't have been able to see her become that little person.
So my goal for this deployment is to take pictures every single day, lots and lots of them. To take as many video as I can possibly take of her so her daddy can see what an amazing little girl she is daily. I will email him every night about all the things Amelia is doing and twice a day if she does something new I can't wait to tell him. Even though he will not be here with Amelia and I, I don't want him at any moment to feel like he is missing out on all the things she is doing. I hope I can keep this all up for him and that he feels as close to us as is possible with so much distance between us.
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